Laalyet Panch Varshani
Dus Varshani Taadiyet
Praapte tu Shodshe Varshe
This is a famous Sanskrit shloka which tells the way a child is to be brought up. It means that till the child is 5 years old you have to give a lot of love to the child. Be strict with him/her till he/she is 10 years old and once he/she turns 16, then treat them as an equal and a friend. If you may remember, this shloka was mentioned in the movie “yaadein “starring Hrithik Roshan and Kareena Kapoor. The Hindu Vedas itself specify that once the child is from 5 to 10 years old, we need to be strict with him. That is the age we teach all discipline proceedings to the child and make the child feel responsible for all its acts. Now a days we in many families, what is happening? We are not strict with the child in home and don’t allow the teachers, school, friends and relatives to be strict with them. In few families the scene is contrary, “spare the rod, spoil the child” is taken literally and the children are dealt and punished strictly even for minor mistakes. After passing this stage, when the child turns 16, he / she becomes a rebel or a spoilt brat, then we wonder what happened! We make a lots of plans and save for our children’s education and marriages. So what about the planning for their upbringings. Wealth could be accumulated at the time of need but can we build character and behavior instantly. It needs a lot of planning, commitment and implementation skills to execute this plan. You may feel I am speaking like a corporate plan. Just think if a company which is not a human needs lot of planning then think how much of strategies a child needs. If brought up properly your child will rock the world .would you not wish that?
So whatever this plan we call it as family rules should be discussed and clearly written may be in a notebook. Children need clear instructions so they should be clearly told that which act of them will deserve a punishment and which act will attract a compliment. All the family members should agree with the rules. Sometimes children do break rules knowingly or unknowingly to test the waters. When the act deserves a punishment, no family member should interfere to support the child. This is very important for the proper upbringing of the child.
Remember when we were kids we felt happy when our parents were happy, but we never expressed it with them. Thank god! This attitude is continuing. Even today all the children want their parents to be happy because of them. Their innocent minds loves to see you smile. It is sometimes very much needed to be strict with the child for its own good. Just keep your heart strong. Good things will follow.